With Lupus, it's my choice how I live or die

Lupus won't stop me from being silly or living well!

So, I have a chronic illness. I'm also at that point where I've realized that unless I take charge, I'm probably not going to get better. I was feeling that I had no choice in the matter. But guess what? I was so wrong! I do have a choice! Yes, even if the doctors insist on writing me off as a lost case.

I'm starting to realize that I can choose to live the rest of my life well or die miserable. I can choose to live, even if my doctor hands me a death sentence. Even if they insist that I take some horrendous medication which will absolutely kill me, whether it makes me well or not. I still have a choice.

I can even say no to my doctor. It's my life. Whether I live or die is my choice.

I have the power.

I can also do some research and try something else. I can live and die with zest and dignity and without chemical interference. I can create my own life right up until my life is over.

Now, before you go thinking that I'm in denial or refusing medical treatment, let me see if I can explain. I know that there's a chance this could kill me, positive attitude notwithstanding. But so what? I don't care. We all die sooner or later. That's not going to stop me from living or dying in my own way.

No one is going to tell me how to live or how to die. I have no intention of letting someone else make health decisions for me because they don't have to live the life they hand me. But I do! And I don't want to spend the rest of my life in fear or on medications that make my life a miserable experience. It's just not worth it.

So thanks, Lupus, for making me realize that everyone has a terminal illness. It's called life. And everyone should live that life exactly as they wish. With Lupus or without it.