Monday, February 1, 2016

Lupus has taught me to reach out

With Lupus, I'm really coming out of my shell.
I'm such a loner that it's almost laughable. I'm also more worried about what other people think than I should be. I have no self doubt. I like myself. I just worry that others may not feel the same way about me. I'm strong but very sensitive. I hate being misunderstood. And when I interact with other people, which isn't much, my feelings are easily hurt.

So now you know why I don't really reach out much. I've been hurt a lot due to being ultra-sensitive. I don't really care to ever be hurt again. But now, with Lupus, all that is changing. I'm realizing what it means to suffer and how badly people need other people when they're feeling depressed or in pain. So I've been reaching out to people a lot more than usual. I'm realizing that any discomfort I feel is worth making others feel that someone cares.

Chronic illness is no picnic. It's sobering and extremely painful, both mentally and physically. I want my friends with health issues to know they're appreciated and loved and thought of. Not only that, I want my friends without health issues to know the same. In fact, I want it so badly that I've been fighting my own fear of being rejected or misunderstood in order to make everyone I know feel a little less pain.

Why? Well it's good old empathy to the rescue again I guess. Being sick like this really makes you realize how important it is to conquer your shyness, get out there and give comfort to anyone who needs it. Because you know how badly they need it. You've been there. Maybe you're even there now, like me.

So thanks Lupus, for forcing me out of my shell. It was getting stuffy in there anyway.

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