With Lupus, I'm really coming out of my shell. |
I'm such a loner that it's almost
laughable. I'm also more worried about what other people think than I
should be. I have no self doubt. I like myself. I just worry that
others may not feel the same way about me. I'm strong but very
sensitive. I hate being misunderstood. And when I interact with other
people, which isn't much, my feelings are easily hurt.
So now you know why I don't really
reach out much. I've been hurt a lot due to being ultra-sensitive. I
don't really care to ever be hurt again. But now, with Lupus, all
that is changing. I'm realizing what it means to suffer and how badly
people need other people when they're feeling depressed or in pain.
So I've been reaching out to people a lot more than usual. I'm
realizing that any discomfort I feel is worth making others feel that
someone cares.
Chronic illness is no picnic. It's
sobering and extremely painful, both mentally and physically. I want
my friends with health issues to know they're appreciated and loved
and thought of. Not only that, I want my friends without health
issues to know the same. In fact, I want it so badly that I've been
fighting my own fear of being rejected or misunderstood in order to
make everyone I know feel a little less pain.
Why? Well it's good old empathy to the
rescue again I guess. Being sick like this really makes you realize
how important it is to conquer your shyness, get out there and give
comfort to anyone who needs it. Because you know how badly they need
it. You've been there. Maybe you're even there now, like me.
So thanks Lupus, for forcing me out of
my shell. It was getting stuffy in there anyway.
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