Lupus makes it next to impossible for
me to work a regular job. Sometimes that's rather nice. Sometimes,
it's downright irritating. Relying on someone else to support me
isn't as wonderful as it may seem. That's especially true because I'm
used to being super self reliant. It's OK, though. Because the trade
off is that I have plenty of time for something I've never been able
to do before.
I have time to think!
Now, granted, I don't spend all day
just thinking. Nope. In fact, I still have a lot of responsibilities.
I make money with my writing and art, so I'm busy with that and with
the house and garden. Still, if I choose to do so, I can just stop in
the middle of it all, curl up in my chair and reflect on my life, or
just decide what direction to take it in next.
In fact, sometimes I have to
stop and think.
You see, Lupus loves to tell me to sit
my butt down. I'll be working away when suddenly the fatigue hits me
or my muscles refuse to budge or I have a dizzy spell, etc. If I
don't immediately fall asleep, well, there's not much else to do but
sit there and quietly think the time away until I feel better. It's
forced relaxation. Because frankly, that's about the only way you
will get me to relax is by forcing me.
Thanks, Lupus!
It's so nice to have a chance to gather
my thoughts after many years of single parenting and grand-parenting.
True, it's not under the most pleasant of circumstances. But hey, why
not look at the bright side? Lupus has given me something I've never
had. Time for myself!
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