Lupus and instant Karma

Enough said?

Perhaps one of the best things about Lupus is that it provides instant Karma. While that may not sound like exactly the best thing to happen to someone, it's actually quite helpful. Oh ya. For instance, we all know that a sedentary lifestyle is bad for us. Well, with Lupus, you don't have to wait 20 years for the negative impact. In fact, sometimes you don't even have to wait a half hour.

If you spend your work days at the keyboard, like me, it only takes a short amount of time for you to feel the pain. In other words, with Lupus, if something is bad for you, you will know right away, no question about it. Why is that good?

Well, it's good because then you can avoid those things that for everyone else, take a lifetime to find out about and then, when they do, it's too late.

Here's a for instance. Last night, I went to Taco Bell. Now, some people go there on a regular basis. In fact, some people eat fast food nearly every day of their lives, right? They know it's bad for them. They also know that the effects of this bad habit will happen down the road. With Lupus, though, it doesn't work that way.

Oh no. Because even when I choose the healthiest thing on the menu and leave out all the “bad” stuff it contains, instant Karma is right there to remind me why I shouldn't eat fast food. In fact, the second that taco salad with no cheese or sour cream hit my esophagus, I knew I was in trouble. I will, as they say, spare you the details. Suffice it to say, I will not be eating at Taco Bell again. Like ever.

And that's just one instance. I don't overeat or overdo anything in general any more because instant Karma has taught me not to. I get up every half hour while writing because if I don't, the cramps will set in.

Yesterday, I played “Sims 3” for a long period of time while Gary was working on the bathroom remodel. My hand swelled up like a balloon. This morning, I had to take double meds because of it. So, there you go. Instant Karma = no more hours of Sims.

If I have just one soda pop, once in a month, I can guarantee that I will be leaning over the porcelain god all night, wishing that I hadn't caved.

While most people have to wait for the bad Karma of their bad habits to catch up with them, mine is like, wham, bam, here I am Mam. Now knock that off immediately and don't do it again! Because, you know that saying about needing to be hit over the head with a brick? Well, I'm one of those people that it fits. I will normally make the same mistake many times over before I learn. But with Lupus, I learn right away and the hard way.

So, thanks, Lupus. That instant Karma of yours makes it so easy to stop bad habits before they become lifetime habits.

Lupus has taught me to multitask like a boss

Thanks to Lupus, I can juggle whatever is thrown at me!

Well, you know. Example is the best teacher. And Lupus is one bad-ass multitasker. Oh ya. Lupus can simultaneously attack every inch of your body and every system, organ, blood cell, muscles, joint and bone in it. Don't ever get in a fight with Lupus. It's better to love, respect and emulate Lupus. Because she will make you her bitch if you let her.

Or, you can learn to be just as strong as she is. You can multitask right back at her. That's what I do. Bring it on, Lupus. I've got this covered. I can be a bad-ass too!

I can climb stairs with two loads of laundry, no laundry basket in sight and pains shooting up and down my legs like the fires of hell. Seriously, Lupus, are you threatening to break my back in two? Ya, well, dish it, Lupus. I can take it and then some.

I can make breakfast while simultaneously clutching the kitchen counters to keep myself from falling if I should pass out. Need a packed lunch and a pot of coffee too? No problem. I can even do it while whistling a tune if need be. No sense in making everyone else miserable after all.

I can carry on a lively conversation and nobody knows I have bile rising up in my throat and a migraine the size of Texas. They never will know it either because I don't want my day to bring their day down to Lupus level.

You need a ride? No problem. I'll take you anywhere you need to go even if I was worshiping the porcelain god all night long and only got an hour of sleep. I don't want you to have to take the bus, after all. What's more, I'll do it with a smile, singing to the tune of whatever music you choose, even if I have to grit my teeth from the pain the whole way.

Need an ear or a shoulder or just to know someone cares about your accomplishments? Here I am. Never-mind that while we're talking, I really do have ten other things I should be and am doing. Forget that my hands are throbbing and my day was filled with agonizing pain. I want to hear about your day because I care about you. Life is short and I want to spend all the time I can with the people I love.

Screw the pain. I want to focus on happy.

It sounds bad, doesn't it? Well, it is. But it's beautiful too. Thanks to Lupus, I have the strength to deal with just about anything that comes my way. Yup. If I can handle living with Lupus, I can handle anything, even the perfect storm. Lupus is one scary roller coaster riding bitch but I have her to thank for teaching me that all things are possible. Yes, even when they all come flying at me simultaneously.

So thanks, Lupus, for all the multitasking you throw my way. Thanks to you, I can throw that shit right back 'atcha and move on to the next challenge. I am Lupus strong!

Found that Margarita freeze-pop again. Thanks, Lupus?

Ha ha I remember when I wrote this random bit in the quotes below. It seems like so long ago. And you know what? That freeze-pop is still there. I found it again just the other day. Seriously, I am so not a drinker. Still, I do miss being able to drink if I wanted to. It's about the freedom, you know? On the other hand, Lupus is pretty useful in that department. Because even if I did want to drink, my meds would tell me no.

And here it is.... or was.... Whatever.

08/21/13 (Hey, that WAS a long time ago!)

“Guess what I found when I cleaned out the freezer today? Oh, Ya. I found a margarita freeze-pop. That's been in there for who knows how long. Not sure if it's still good. I think we got it for free at some event a while back. Like, a long while back. I also found a bottle of Bailey’s and another tiny sample bottle of Bailey's.

Now, don't worry, I'm no alcoholic. Well, obviously, or I would have known they were there.

But hey, you take your rewards where you can get them. I guess my reward for cleaning the freezer today was a hidden supply of girly type alcohol. Hey, I'm in luck, because, guess what? I'm a girl! Yay me! 

But, boo! Because I can't drink with my meds. Wait, maybe next time I forget to pick up my Prednisone, I'll have a back-up plan. Can you see me scheming and rubbing my hands together?”

So, times change and now I don't drink. Like, at all. Oh, it's OK if you do. It's just not for me. I've recently realized that even if I could drink now, I really have no interest in it. I had my time to be young and foolish. I used it well. Now I'm on to bigger and better things. I just love the way Lupus has of reminding me I'm on the right track.

So, Bye bye, Margarita freeze-pop, see you later. That's see, not touch. And thanks again, Lupus. Because of you I'm not drinking. Or even eating Margarita freeze-pops. Not that I would have anyway. LOL

Love for others with Lupus

Lupus is named for the wolf. Those who have it are just as strong. They have to be.

I'm not the only one with Lupus, you know? I do talk about it a lot. Still, there are so many people out there suffering from this crazy, unpredictable disease. It's tragic to say the very least. However, it can also be inspiring. Plus, I get tons of support from my fellow “Lupies” on a daily basis. After all, no one understands chronic illness like those who have it.

I don't have any resentment toward healthy people. In fact, it's just the opposite. I'm so glad to see other people living happy, healthy lives. It gives me great joy. It's just that when it comes to having someone to talk to about my health struggles, nothing beats someone who has been there and done that.

Other Lupies don't suggest unsolicited “cures” or pain solutions. They know Lupus is a permanent condition that's not going away. They just listen and empathize. Which is exactly what I need most of the time. And if I do need advice, they know how to give it without being pushy.

Other Lupies also understand when I'm too tired to do anything but sit and type. They know I'm not lazy because I don't have a “real” job. They understand that writing is my way of continuing to contribute to my household, even if I don't feel so good and never become a big writing superstar. They also get that writing isn't all I do around the house.

I really appreciate my fellow Lupies in another way too. I find them inspiring. In fact, I find anyone with chronic illness inspiring. This world is hard enough on healthy people. Getting through it with style when sick is even more difficult.

Yes, from pain to limited mobility to digestive issues to skin rashes to any one of 25 other crazy symptoms, my fellow Lupies triumph daily over this horrendous illness. I find them amazing. Plus, so many of them are so much sicker than I am. Which makes me believe I can kick this thing with a smile on my face just like they do every day.

So, thanks Lupus, for helping me find so many new, inspiring supportive friends. It's truly one of the best things about this disease.

Laughing my butt off at Lupus!

Yesterday, my grand-daughter shared the above cartoon on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and laughed before it occurred to me that some people might very likely find it offensive. Not me, though. You see, I laugh my butt off at Lupus every single day. I can't help it. Some of my struggles are simply hilarious.

For instance, there was my jegging adventure. I thought they might have a slimming effect on my swollen legs. They did. They also went right on, smooth as silk. Unfortunately, trying to remove jeggings is not as easy as getting them on when you have physical limitations. They got stuck around my ankles and would not budge an inch. I had to hop my crippled self to the nearest chair to remove them. That isn't all. I was having a bad hand coordination day too. My fingers were not working at all. I finally managed to work a loose section off each foot, step on it and pull up with my legs as hard as I could to get them off. Even then, it took several tries. No more jeggings for me. What a hoot!

Gardening with Lupus has provided me with many laughs. One day, I fell face first over a garden bed. It hurt like holy hell. I was stunned, to put it mildly. It was the first time I'd ever fallen since being struck with Lupus. I quickly realized that I was not getting up anytime soon, at least without taking a breather. Still, I managed to get a chuckle out of it. You see, I water the garden in the early morning in my nightgown sometimes to save time. So, I was lying there all sprawled out in my nightgown, soaking wet and muddy with the hose running on me. I felt like a crippled mud wrestler. I also couldn't help thinking about that commercial with the elderly women where she has fallen and can't get up. So, I texted that phrase to the boyfriend, explaining my predicament. Of course he expressed concern when he called me back. But as soon as he realized I was OK, we had a great laugh together.

I can't tell you how many times my “Lupus brain” as I call it has given me fits of the giggles. I'm a fairly intelligent person so when one of my old Lupus meds left me hanging in the memory department, I knew it was time to change meds. The final straw came about one day when I asked my grand-daughter the same simple question three times in a row. Her response? “Grandma, your Lupus brain is working overtime again.” Needless to say, I went off the medication that was doing that. But hey, it's all water under the bridge. Can't go back in time and not take it, right? And it was at least good for a chuckle.

With Lupus, I try to find both the humor and the good in every situation. For instance, when I can't sleep at night and spend the day napping, I just say to myself, “Hey, at least it got me out of the housework for a day!” Or when my digestive system “cleans” itself out for a few days in a row, I say, “Hey, I guess I don't have to buy those expensive cleansing herbs!”

You know what's the best thing about laughing at Lupus or myself, though? It's contagious. And if there's one thing my family needs with all our crazy struggles, it's a sense of humor. The other day, for instance, my boyfriend and I were watching the old X-Files TV series. They were studying a line drawing of Big Foot. No details. Just the outline. Without even thinking, my boyfriend blurts out, “Hey, look! It's me, naked!” (He's been trying to lose a few pounds and seriously, he doesn't look like naked Big Foot, really.) We both just burst out laughing. Nobody was offended or embarrassed and he's certainly got a healthy self image but that was funny, dammit!

Folks, it's OK to laugh at our own humanity. It's OK to get a kick out of our personal flaws (Which aren't really flaws, by the way. They're just a part of who we are.) And frankly, if who I am ever becomes a cold bitch with no sense of humor who's afraid to laugh at herself, well, never-mind that thought. Because I would never be that person. That's right. I hope I'm laughing my butt off at Lupus until the day it kills me. And if it doesn't kill me and something else beats it to the punch, well, the irony will have me smiling as I breathe my last breath.