Let's be honest for a second. Having Lupus sucks.
Unless you're into having your good health turn into your worst
nightmare. It hurts. It really, really hurts. I didn't cry when I
gave birth to my children, people. With Lupus, I cry every day.,
privately, so as not to worry the people I love.
Now you might be
thinking, where is the good in that, Jaipi? Are you off your rocker?
Well, yes I am, but it has nothing to do with Lupus. I've always been
a bit wacky. There are, however, lots of good things about my Lupus
journey. Yes, there is pain, but there is also healing.
I've learned to lay in bed longer,
let other people help me and pamper myself.
I have no choice, of course. Still,
these are things I have never experienced in my life. I've always
been the responsible one, the meal maker, the trash taker and the
lawn mower. For the first time in my life, I can relax and not feel
guilty about it. The pain is no joke, of course. I still wish I was
healthy again. But I've learned to put myself first. If you knew me,
you'd know that's quite an accomplishment.
I get to NOT have a boss for the
rest of my life.
That's something the independently
wealthy and the chronically ill have in common. We're both on a
permanent vacation. I'll admit, if I had a bit of money, and good
health, it would be a much better vacation. Still, there's something
to be said for not having to be anywhere unless you want to.
And as for that boss thing, well, I've
never been much good at towing the line. Now I don't have to. Ever
again. (This is where I visualize myself giving all my old bosses the
finger and telling them to take their stupid jobs and shove them.)
I know who my real friends are now.
They have stuck by me through all of
this nonsense. My partner is the best. He goes out and works his own
job every day so I can heal. He helps me into the van when I'm having
a bad day, just so I can spend time with him and forget about the
pain. He puts up with my tossing and turning all night long without a
word of complaint.
He's my rock in a sea of awful. My
family helps me with whatever I can't handle myself whenever they
can. Even my online friends cheer me up with their silliness and send
me hugs and hearts on bad days. And guess what? Some of them are
fighting their own chronic illness battles. They have their own pain
to worry about.
I have great empathy now.
I know what it's like to have to crawl
to the bathroom, or scream in pain just from lifting your arms up to
get dressed. It's a humbling experience and one that makes you
appreciate the struggles of those who aren't so lucky. What, Jaipi?
You consider yourself lucky? Absolutely! I'm alive and breathing. I'm
surrounded by people I love and cherish. I've found a whole new way
of living. I'm eating right. I'm taking care of myself.
But most of all, I've learned to
cherish every single minute of my life. I've learned to smile through
the pain and heartache. I've learned to treat people better than they
treat me. Who knows what they're going through? Plus, I may not have
much time with them. Better make it count.
So, you see, Lupus is a big fat pain
that's not going away. But it's also a blessing.
There is good in everything and
everyone, if you know where to look. Enjoy your life, my friends.
Don't waste it on things that don't matter. Tell your cranky boss
goodbye, but don't give him the finger. Remember, you don't know what
he's going through. Find a job you love. Do right by the people you
love. But take care of yourself too. Let other people help you.
Appreciate your loved ones. And by all means, stop to smell the
roses. Life is short and health is fleeting, my friends. Live well!
