Lupus let's me be sick anywhere

With Lupus, I'm sick wherever I go. Photo by Jeanne Frost (Jaipi Sixbear) all rights reserved.

Well, that's depressing, isn't it? No. No, not really. Let me start over, though. You see, with Lupus, I'm sick no matter where I go, what I do, who I'm with, etc. But hey, at least I have time off, right? At least I'm in what I like to call, “forced retirement.” Which means that unless I'm so sick that I have to sit in my recliner all day (which does happen quite a bit) well, I can do whatever I want.

Sort of. I mean, I'm no millionaire, for sure. And it might hurt me a little to do certain things. Others, I may not be able to do at all. Now, this is getting depressing again, so let me get to the point right now.

And the point is that I can be sick and home bound or I can be sick at the beach, in the mountains, at The Grand Canyon, where I hope to go soon or at The Great Sand Dunes, Mesa Verde or even on vacation back home with my family. So, why should I choose to be sick at home when I can get out there and see the world? And here's where the love for Lupus comes sneaking in.

Oh ya, I'm really sick. There is no way that I can be a reliable employee or even be reliable at writing, painting, photography or anything else that I enjoy. But what would I be doing right now if Lupus hadn't descended on my life like a dark cloud? I'd be working, of course, like everyone else in the world has to in order to survive. I wouldn't have a choice. I never did before, either. But now, thanks to my awesome boyfriend and Lupus, I can do the things I never had a chance to before.

Because I will be sick anywhere and no matter what I'm doing. I can't do anything about that. So, gosh darn it, I might as well do the things and go the places I want to. And yes, I'll still have the dizzy spells, the pain, the indigestion (to put it mildly) and all the other craptastic symptoms Lupus throws at me. But at least I'll be experiencing them in beautiful places doing beautiful things with my life, albeit, a bit slowly and with some limitations.

For instance, last year, I went back home to see my extended family. I always go on a boat tour while there and this trip was no exception. And sure, I wasn't feeling my best that day, because I never am. And sure, I fell asleep during the tour, but hey, it's OK. I got to spend some time with my family, even if I did fall asleep. Maybe it wasn't what most people would call “quality time” but it was precious to me. And I think I looked pretty in the pictures because I was happy. And I wouldn't have been there if not for Lupus. I would have been working.

Yes, Lupus makes me sick wherever I go. Still, thanks Lupus, for the freedom to be sick in wonderful places, doing wonderful things. There's always something to be grateful for. Always.